Self- Deprication

Anger Management

I don’t know what it is, or how I get so angry, but it seems as though there are more things that make me mad then things that make me happy. One thing I absolutely cannot stand is slow people. Now by slow people, I mean people who take 20 minutes ordering one item of off a menu or like last night, people who are checking out at a store and take their sweet little time. Here I am at CVS waiting in line, meanwhile there are 5 people in front and 5 people I back of me. The person checking out is only buying one bottle of shampoo so why does it take her 10 minutes to cash out? She has the NERVE to start small talk with the cashier and proceed to ask her how her day was and ask where she got her hair done. “Hey lady! I just want to buy my @#%$ gummy bears and proceed with my daily activities!” I scream in her ear. At least in my head that’s what I did.

Now when I get angry the things that go on in my head are unspeakable things, so I won’t speak of them. It is like in the movies where it shows what a person wants to do, then goes back to reality. The images that go on in my brain are what I want to do. Now when I actually do act in reality, it is not good, at all. However, something good does come out of it. My IQ shoots up to 160, right at Einstein’s level! I somehow in only seconds develop into the most intellectual person on Earth. I become the law representative of OJ Simpson. Anger causes me to have multiple personalities. I start saying words I don’t even know I knew, and I start forming sentences in the most complex way possible.

Now in soccer, it is the complete opposite. In soccer, I an angry almost the entire game. I do not know why, but it causes me to play harder. In soccer games, if you listen to me talking you will not be able to understand a word that I say. That is because I do not say words, I speak in jibberish by my lonesome. If I get beat, or the other team scores a goal, my hand automatically clenches and a few seconds later swells up and a mysterious dent appears on either the ground, a face, or a pole. It is a very strange occurrence that I cannot seem to explain. After this happens, I get back in my zone and continue having my conversation with myself in some sort of unknown language.

Many walls, my car, etc have faced my wrath. Fortunately though, no humans have. I have kept my anger to causing pain to inanimate objects rather than living, breathing objects. My friends say this is a problem. No, not the fact that I don’t hit people, the fact that I get so angry. I say it simply shows that I have emotions, there’s nothing wrong with showing them 100 percent of the time. If I really wanted to contain my anger, I could. I simply choose not to I tell them. Now who am I kidding? I CANNOT. I have tried so many times but I am basically Taz the Tasmanian devil combined with Daffy Duck. Always crazy, always angry. I am yet to find out why however, and I don’t know if I ever will.