My Modest Proposal

Fight to the Death


Overpopulation and overspending in prisons has become a serious problem across the country of the United States. In fact, the United States imprisons more people then any other country in the world. Also, in one year, US taxpayers pay 32 BILLION dollars which goes straight to prisons. This is way too much money to be spent on prisons, especially since it is OUR money. Also, the US has the most prisoners per capita in the world. Now how can we reduce the amount of people in jail, and also reduce the amount of tax payer’s money that is spent on prisons? The answer is simple, have an Ultimate Fighting ring in all prisons, except have them fight to the death.
Now UFC brings in revenue of about $222,800,000 a year, imagine how much money could be brought in if there is UFC, except there are prisoners fighting to the death! There could even be a specific type of prisoners who fight, in example all prisoners who have a life sentence or are on death row, rather than having petty thief’s and others risk their lives. There is nothing wrong with taking the worst prisoners and making them fight to the death if they have nothing left to live for anyways. This is the perfect plan to solve this major problem that the US is having.
This Ultimate Fight to the Death would solve the overpopulation problem because 1. If prisoners are fighting to the death, then one out of two must die, cutting the population in prisons almost in half, and 2. People would stop committing as many crimes knowing that if they go to jail there is a 50 percent chance of being killed. This would insanely decrease the population in jails, stopping overpopulation.
Furthermore, this would severely decrease the amount of taxpayer’s money that goes toward prisons. It would bring in revenue from advertisements, clothing, events, ticket sales, endless possibilities! If UFC can bring in that much money, then this will surely bring in at least that much. Think about how popular gladiator fights were in ancient Rome. This would basically be the same thing, except with modern day weapons and modern day fighting. This revenue could be put toward paying for all of the expenses that the prisons must pay for, thus reducing the amount of taxes needed to be paid and saving all of us money! I know you want to save more money for yourselves; we are all selfish to an extent.
It is clear that my idea will help this country in a very large way and in time make it such a more virtuous country. It will change the world even, I know this for sure. How much money it will bring in, however, I am not sure. But my guess would be at least $10,000,000,000 a year, paying for much of the expenses that prisons must pay for. We will not lose anything besides all of these poor “citizens” who have committed serious terrible acts. Which some may say losing them is gaining more security for the US. My idea is a win, win, win, win situation. Just so much winning, as Charlie Sheen would say. This idea is tough to turn down, therefore wont be.

Kiss and Tell

Retelling a specific instance he experienced in the past, Alain de Botton produces comic effect in "Kiss and Tell" by using subtle characterization to make the situation relatable to all readers. Many people as teenagers see their fathers as "nerdy" or "uncool", similar to the father in "Kiss and Tell", as shown by "I'm looking at the light fixtures they have. They're new tungsten bulbs, Japanese things, quite wonderful, they use only a small amount of electricity but give off very nice light." Also, it is very common for parents to have pity arguments about very little things as do the parents in this story, "This is prime argument territory for them, Mum will be asking Dad where he put the park ticket and he'll get flustered because he'll just have dropped it into the bin by mistake." Furthermore, many parents embarass their children and do not seem to care one bit, like the mother who "decided that the presence of four hundred people in the auditorium should be no impediment to her desire to shout 'Isabel' at top pitch and with all the excitement a woman recognizing a long-lost friend on the deck of an incomin cruise ship." This all characterizes Isabel's parents in a comedic way in which all readers may relate to it.